Just A Child In A Manger

I need a miracle and so I'm running back.

"How many greats have became the least for me?"

I was a fool for not listening to you God. You clearly told me to check page 3 where I had committed a 10mark error and I just skimmed through it and.. "where? where? nothing la"

You also made me go through all these circumstances where mixed emotions just.. explodes. Its like, I cannot concentrate in studying. And tomorrow is the test already and I'm still playing and I can't stop. I hate myself.

Its not easy to bring me back. But here I am, returning back. I've ran far enough. Coz the saying goes "If all you have is God, then you have all you need"

I find a vicious cycle in this.. Let me explain

Lets start off with a close relationship with God.

"I have all I need, all my worries are taken care of"

Slowly, this gets taken for granted.. and next its..

"Maybe its not God, maybe its just me."

And then...

"Woah.. these worries are tough, let me try and handle them myself"

leads to...

"Why is this so hard? I'm dying already."

Finally...

"Thats it I'm dead"

-Returns back to start of cycle-

But each time I "die", I get stronger back up every time. How I know when I "die" each time? I'll get very frustrated and repetitive "F***"s will be in my head. And suddenly I accidentally blurt it out.

I'm cutting down on the two "B" words as well.

Although being the only holy one is lonely, I will still stand firm. I cannot let Sister Jessie down. Especially that day I was kinda hurt when asked us "Do you all still say grace?"

Oh yeah.. and some girl noticed I was very relaxed for the MAEC paper. Coz when they tell us we can start READING the scripts only, I slowly took my time, to flip the pages. after skimming through then I close it, leaving me quite a few minutes to look around. That's coz I don't like doing questions when my hands are "disabled".

You have officially entered my blacklist.

randomfact: I'm very cold and sarcastic to people in my blacklist.