Pull The Trigger

As 1 and a half weeks of school pass by, it really occurred to me that I'm still not ready for school. Brain dead during lectures, stoneing during tutorials, daydreaming during workshops.. My engine clearly has not started yet..

Thus, today, the holiday of Deepavali I've decided to give this engine a refreshing wake-up call. Honestly it didn't went well til like 6.30pm. Today gymmed at 12 and after arriving home I just KOed in bed til 5.30pm. Waking up knowing my plan is going down the drain, I snapped out of blurness and pushed myself to do week 2 tutorials. And when I was doing one particular tutorial, I was kinda getting frustrated coz yknow, Microsoft Word you cannot type anywhere around the picture as you please. I don't know how to describe it specifically but the main thing is that it didn't look nice where my words are typing at. So.. this pulled an emotional trigger in me, pumped me up and get me printing all my tutorials. Yeah right now, I'm no longer going to use my computer to copy down model answers for tutorial. It'll all in black and white now!?

Emotional triggers too gave me enough pump to go around, pack my stuff and get things tidy to have a more presentable and better study environment for me. I became 'heartless' towards my stuff. For example, I would place 3 hairbands on the table so when I need one I'll just pick a colour and use it. But tidy-me wants only ONE hairband on the table because of space constraints and I had to get rid of the other 2 hairbands placing them in the emo cupboard in which opens only once a fortnight?? Anyway that was just an example, I did the same to files and pens etc.

To survive through this current course of life, I believe all I need are my hands and mouth. What else do I lack of? What else do I need? Placing all my energy into work for the past few hours made me feel like a.. a real zombie but not the ones that hunts for brains and intestines. I can't tell if I'm contented with this poker face throughout. I do feel a sense of achievement(I mean.. tidiness and stuff) but this isn't enough to get the crescent on my lips.

Its amazing how I can always be able to cough up decent solutions(decent enough for me to use) in my times of need. Lets say something gets me upset for a day, but after emoing and all, my brain kinda auto goes into a.. searching-for-answer mode and given some time(from a minute to even a few hours) an answer would pop out even if the problem seems impossible to solve.

I think I'm in a too-serious mood right now. Will switch back to ah siao soon