Had been a tiring day. Woke up at 635am for gym at 8, the traffic was jammed and reached at 810. Sherhong was later because she missed her bus as usual, but she woke up really early (I can attest to that). At least she puts in the effort to try not to be late anymore but I guess lady luck wasn't smiling on her.
So while we were gymming halfway, the instructor person suddenly come to us and tell us the red carpet area is closed for lessons... WTH, it has never happened before on a Monday morning gym. And sian ka lao sai, I was down on my last exercise then cannot use the red carpet area with my Olympic bar....
Oh wells, after our usual workouts, Sherhong and I went to cycle on the stationary cardio machine for 30min. In the evening, she said that her tailbone was painful probably because of sitting down on the cycling machine for too long(or sit wrong idk). She didn't like the idea of cycling all along, her legs weren't strong enough to take it but still managed to pull through 30min, and I had to put her through all that :/
After gym, we went to eat Western's at poolside. I shared half my fish with her and she shared half her chicken chop so that we can variate the vitamins and minerals from both sources of proteins.
To be honest, so far this morning I was really tired and somewhat moodless. But bearing the responsibilities of a role model and coach, I really had to put on the biggest smile and hype up my own energy levels to be able to support her and push her further on. But in the end, I guess whatever I did also did helped me lighten my spirits up.
On my way home, I transfer at Macritchie bus stop and while waiting for the bus there, I spotted a blind lady sitting down. Sometimes she was murmuring, I don't know if she's asking for help or what, but I just watched. Until when a bus suddenly arrive, she stood up(she knows a bus has arrived but didn't know what bus). I was frozen, I didn't know what to do. Should I ask her what bus she's taking or what? I'm also kinda wanting to rush home to eat my dinner. But she's blind and nobody else is helping her. All these thoughts flushed my mind. Then suddenly an old man guided her onto the bus. I was sighing a heave of relief, if not I probably would have felt dam guilty about it.
That very old man stopped at the same stop as me, leaving the blind lady on the bus by herself. She definitely needs help to know when the bus stops and to alight. I thought about my actions, I thought about her and I thought about that if everyone was like me(which majority of Singaporeans are), how the hell would a blind survive in this society? I had regrets, for not asking her if she needed help. Because if everyone is just a bystander watching the show, the 'show' will NEVER have a happy ending nor will it benefit anyone. I am truly disappointed in myself for that act of selfishness. I broke my own heart through these actions and I can't imagine how are we going to be a top class country if most of the citizens are like that? I AM TOTALLY GOING TO CHANGE MYSELF!
During dinner, I was texting Sherhong and she was pretty stressed up by me because of my meals suggestion clashing with her meal plans such as.. her mum arrives home at 6+, cant eat at 5. Also she wants to eat together with her family (awww). I felt terrible for giving her so much stress. She tells me its difficult to pursue this lifestyle and that its stressful. I am equally tired, equally stressed but I just have a more supportive family and a colder heart (I eat alone most of the times because my meal times are so weird).
Sometimes I don't know why I press on, why I still go through these tiresome routines and put in extra efforts at times. Am I really doing this for myself? Or am I doing these for her? Or am I doing these for the haters(or non-believers)? Or could it be that the ANGEL and DEVIL in my head are fighting and the winning one gets me through all these muddy times?
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