Morose.

I feel like such a failure. I feel like I didn't accomplish anything at all since school started, I feel like I've been wasting so much time.

There was this assignment of Literature Review whereby we're supposed to read through at least 3 articles. Well, I did only 3 articles and followed very closely to Michael Chiam's given example. His word count not even close to 1.5k words while the tutor expects at least 1.5k words. Being similar to Michael Chiam's example, mine only had 2 pages - 950 words. I felt like I could have done so much more, I wasn't giving my best. How I know I wasn't giving my best? Well.. Best has 4 types of definitions for me:

Best means..
1.Not my leftovers
2. Not my half-hearted efforts
3. Not my bare minimum
4. Not out of convenience

2, 3 and 4 were very prominent factors in this case. Convenience because I anyhow Google Scholar for the related topic and quickly pick the top 3 most relevant articles. I'm just wondering where my drive and willpower had gone to. Its year 3 already and my last academic semester, I'm supposed to be putting my best into this sem.


My enthusiasm and energy levels has dropped significant as well. I used to look forward to school everyday and I still do, but not as much as before. I'm getting more and more last minute which is totally not me. I even got caught eating in the clubroom by some fat bitch who TOOK A FREAKING PICTURE! WTH. So friggin hate that person. I could have stood up and put my face to the camera before she took the picture, but I hesitated and stoned staring. I have regrets.

Come to realize, I have bad habits. I need to replace these bad habits with good ones. If not, at this rate of degeneration, I'll be a piece of stool by the end of this sem. Its time I get back up and eat my own desserts that create!